I hate trader joe’s. I hate the people who shop there. I hate the people who work there. The people at Ralph’s or Von’s are so gentle and sweet. You get to trader joe’s and everyone is smug, ed pushy and entitled to be in front of you and stop in the middle of the aisle and talk on their phones to aks their spouse about which $1.48 bottle of wine they want.

I used to live in laurel canyon and the people there had this bucolic peaceful exterior, sildenafil but they were all pig shitheads who were in a rush to get home and align their chakras and didn’t care who the fuck the ran off the road to accomplish that. trader joes is laurel canyon in a store.

plus, you can’t read the price labels because the dredlocked/tatooed/ponytailed/vegan assholes who work there write them in different colored inks and put them in counterintuitive places.

yes, i hate trader joe’s. slightly less than erewhon. erewhon should be invaded by gangs with blowtorches.

oh… and those fucking clever brands. the mexican food is “trader jose’s”. hahaha hooo, oh man, they’re funny. if they were really funny, the oriental food would be called “tlader joe”.

the only good thing about trader joe’s (other than driving by and not going inside) is that their workers aren’t unionized but have better benefits and crap than union stores. but you still can’t convince anyone who works there that unions are worthless.

i would only go to trader joe’s to buy stuff for billy the mime. which is what i did tonight.