If stupid, search immature jokes (redundant redundancy anyone?) were currency, I would be a millionaire. I love ’em. Some people believe I am smart, but I’m not, I’m lazy and a good mimic, so I can act like a smart person, so I love dumb jokes, because they make me laugh because I’m stupid and when I repeat them, people think that I’m being “meta”, so I appear smarter than I am without having to do any work. At all.
One of my worst traits is that I think that if something is funny once, it will be funny 1,000 times. To stay married, I stopped saying “Why are you angry?” when the bride says “I’m hungry”. (I still think it, though.)
A truly smart friend of mine, who is also my doppelganger (thanks for nothing, spell check), Emery Emery, came up with one great idea and, with his friend – famed band leader Tommy James – happened upon another.
The first one is an iPhone app that shows the most violent verses of the Koran, (Qu’ran? Qowoaaran?) along with pictures of the Allah.
But the really clever thing he passed along to me is adding the letters “B” and “R” to either side of the “ONE” on the back of the One Dollar Bill to spell every 4th grader’s favorite punch line: BONER.
Ass I’ve mentioned before, I don’t spend my one dollar bills. So last year, after crossing out “In God We” about 500 times, I’ve begun doing it the same night I put my one dollar bills in my one dollar bill box. (I’m pretty sure Penn Jillette started this, but I *think* he crosses out the entire phrase. I like leaving “TRUST” on the back of the bill.)
I have fewer bills saved this year, because we have the youngster and, when we have it, I pay his “help” with the ones. Regardless, at the end of the year, I’m going to have a bunch of bills that some folks may think read “Trust Boner”.
Where’s George, indeed.