Many things have lined up on the showbiz side of my life again and I’ve been taking some time to focus on that and see if I can make a living (and possibly support a bride and child) from the showbiz. My last two web dev job experiences had been rotten and though I try to keep up with that part of the world and my brain, it seems less and less available to me than showbiz. How nutty is that? Stupid nutty. Only an actor would say that. Hmm.
So the bad news is that it got down to me and one other guy for a great part in a great pilot but I’m trying to think that the good news is that it got down to me and one other guy for a great part in a great pilot.
I’ve always remembered the general feeling of disappointment and frustration in the showbiz world, but I’d forgotten about the specific feeling when one “misses it by this much”.
In other good news: Thursday, 3/21, I’m going to be on the Glee! show program. You can blink and I’ll still be on the screen, but don’t blink for too long. I think. Of course, my “scene” could be cut.
Here’s one of those lists that your grandmother sent you that first week she figured out email.
Without You, I Would Die
1. Without the USDA, Americans would be eating food laced with feces because farmers don’t know how to grow food, or “Big Agra” would force us to eat meat infested with the poop from genetically modified super-rats bred in a nuclear reactor.
2. Without the FAA, Boeing would have a monopoly on airplanes and all airlines would let drunken pilots fly rickety planes.
3. Without labor laws and labor unions, those planes would be manufactured in freezing (in winter) and sweltering (in summer) factories by 10 year child prostitutes earning fifty cents a week while their homeless, unemployed parents fought each other in the streets for coal and radiated rat meat.
4. Without the FCC, the lucky winner of a weekly child-porn-snuff-gameshow broadcast on a fundamentalist Christian pedophile network would be chosen to fly all of the nation’s airplanes.
5. Without the DOE, only the children of Wall Street and Wal-Mart executives would be allowed to attend schools where the curriculum would be crack-smoking, bible study and “non-whites are bad and lie about global warming” taught by anti-government Atheist Christian Islamic child molestors.
6. Without drug laws, labor laws and the FCC, Wal-Mart would force heroin and crack addicted children to compete in televised duels for the opportunity to be crack whores or pilot unsafe airplanes.
7. Without anti-trust laws, Wal-Mart would be the only store. Half of the year they would only sell products made from the skin, blood and hair of Pakistani children for 99 cents. The other six months prices would be raised so high, children would be forced to work as greeters. And prostitutes.
8. Wthout the FDA, “Big Pharma” would manufacture diseases and sell useless, treatments no one could afford at the Wal-Mart pharmacy.
9. Without welfare, “Big Business” will forbid charity and “the poor” would die on your doorstep while you sit in your mansion masturbating to the 24 hour Ayn Rand television channel.
10. Withouth the DOE and teacher’s unions, teachers would be unemployed. Any existing teachers would be shot at by all of the cancerous heroin addicted children issued guns by “big gun” at Wal-Mart.
11. Without the Department of the Interior, roads would only be availble to rich white people and would be paved over the poor using the bones of the aged as filler.
12. Without the TSA, planes would explode upon departure, or landing, depending on the in-flight movie.
13. Without the FAA, airlines would conspire to every plane that didn’t crash arrive 2 hours late. All meals would contain e-coli.
14. Without ‘the government’ there would be no firefighters or police. Only rich white men would have protection, mainly because they would be the only people with roads.
15. Without labor laws, women’s job interviews would consist of gang-rape conducted by Wall Street and Wal-Mart executives. The handicapped would be kicked in the teeth and mocked during skits at company picnics. Lots of general rape, no lunches and the term ‘work week’ would be replaced by ‘work month’.
16. Without minimum wage laws, employers (Wal-Mart) would throw a twenty dollar bill into a room every month and laugh as employees fought to the death for pay. The winning employee would then be fined twenty-five dollars for damages and raped if female.
17. Without a strong U.S. military presence in every country in the world, those countries without a strong U.S. military presence would be plagued by war.
18. Without Social Security, you will sit in your house watching snuff movies while your grandmother dies on your doorstep.
19. Without an enormous percentage of the budget going towards “defense” the word “defense” would mean “defense”.
20. Without tough, tough, tough, tough drug laws, everyone would be high all the time; especially children because of the forced prostitution to pay for their parents’ drugs.
21. Without the FDA, “big pharma” would never innovate and make bloated, unrealistic claims about their products and there would be not be one effective medication and we would die from eating radiation poop pork in exploding aircraft piloted by children, sick and dying from their bullet injuries and child porn rapes.
22. Without the FDA, shady supplement and quack medicine manufacturers could make bloated, unrealistic claims about their products. Oh. Wait.
Back before you were born, there were only a few television channels and television was a way for people to make money. Amazing, right?
So, there were these people who had some money and they decided they wanted to start a new network. They had one show. A new program called Star Trek – The Next Generation, with a British guy as the captain of the enterprise. That was going to be their “flagship” show, but they needed content.
The plan was start in a couple markets on one night and then gradually take over. Fox was beginning to do well so…
The three shows that got the green light for this new network were:
Shades of L.A. – A cop in l.a. who can see through stuff or something.
She-Wolf of London – A girl in London is a Werewolf but has to move back to Los Angeles when the budgets get cut because the new network is tanking.
They Came From Outer Space – Two brothers… no real brothers, i mean… yeah.. two brothers from another planet.. no that comes later. They come to earth to meet girls. And, they feel each others feelings so when one guy is getting laid, the other guy can feel it. It’ll be great. It’ll be the only one hour comedy on television. Ever. (I think).
Stuart “the great” Fratkin and I had just come back from doing Ski School in Canaduh and had become buddies. We both got auditions for this “They Came From Outer Space” show. We aksed if we could go in and audition with each other. We ad-libbed a lot of the audition and we ended up getting the parts.
The show only aired in three cities: L.A., New York and Pittsburgh(!?). That’s why you’ve never seen it or heard of it. It’s now on DVD.
Soon, we will do an OddComment of some of the episodes.
It is definitely hit and miss. The last 10 episodes are “really good”. Yes, that’s in quotes. It’s hit and miss. There are some wildly funny scenes and there is some true crap, as well. That’s what happens when you’re shooting 11-12 pages a day for six months.
But. I had a lot of hair. Also, Stuart was in a committed relationship (he’s with her to this day!!) and I was single and trying to get over the girl who broke me. So you can watch it and see who I get along with. Wink.
The sad part of all of this is that they aired the show all of the time. So much so that when ever I ran into people who’d done guest starring roles, they’d say “Dude, you must be getting rich! I’m getting so many residuals!!! Oh, man!!!”
Well, no. We got royally and completely skrewwwwwed by someone. Not sure who did it. Maybe it was Universal. Maybe my manager. Maybe Finnegan-Pinchuk. Maybe Stuart’s manager. Maybe a combination of the above. Maybe it was just incompetence. But definitely SAG. It’s when SAG became my enemy. Ah well. Who needs a house at 30?
Yes, I’m still pissed about it. Sorry.
http://www.adventureclubpodcast.com/2012/06/sequence-39-dean-cameron.html is me talking about my favorite subject: Me!
There were some *minor* technical difficulties because I failed to let them know I had Skype so… whatever. It’s ME. What more would you possibly want?
Who thinks I should do my own podcast?
Maybe I’m a joke. If I am, it’s sad. If not, cool.
Namechecked on Psych:
I’m in at the one hour mark.
Fun times. WTF?
Rocktober 26th is the 10th anniversary of the USA PATRIOT ACT. Let’s stand up and cheer for that, shall we?
Or how about hanging our heads in shame. That’s the day that citizens and politicians went bonkers and passed laws limiting the freedom of citizens in the name of security. A concept that the founders of this country were opposed to.
The fine folks at Downsize DC are pushing for the repeal of the USA PATRIOT ACT.
It doesn’t matter that it’s wildly unconstitutional. It doesn’t matter that it was passed in haste with no one actually reading the thing.
What matters is that it’s wrong. Plain and simple. Allowing a government to spy on its citizens is wrong. Incarceration without a trial is wrong. Right? Right.
I urge you to visit them.
Here’s my letter to my reps:
Subject: Repeal the Patriot Act
I want the Patriot Act repealed.
I know that everyone was all fired up to “do something” after the World Trade Center was destroyed by religious people, but now we all know that the USA PATRIOT ACT was a very bad idea.
The beautiful thing about laws in a free country like ours is that they can be repealed! Right? Right!
Here’s your chance to make history and do something good.
Trash it. Throw it away and don’t look back. The rights that have been violated in the name of “security” over the last ten years beg you. (figuratively, of course… i’m not a complete nut!)
I dare you to do the right thing. C’mon. Come on!
Mr. dean eikleberry
xxxx x xxxxxxxx xxxxxx xxx
burbank, CA 91505
The campaign used to send this message can be found here: https://secure.downsizedc.org/etp/repeal-the-patriot-act/
9/24/2011 sad sad
9/23/2011 sad sad
These are the only people who talk to me.
A redundant post, but it’s my blog. Why are you reading it, anyway.