Why was that?

Because some bastard in the former soviet union decided to hack every site I have hosted on dreamhost.com.
cookiesbyjessie.com
coreyoke.com
getsteelpantherastar.com
oddcomment.com

were all victims of this dongface.

It began back late November and I finally got everything wiped for good today. The final bit being this line in my .htaccess file:

RewriteRule .* http://sweepstakesandcontestsinfo.com/nl-in.php?nnn=555 [R,L]

Total dongliness.

If you have hit this page because you’ve been snagged with this problem, try the steps below. If those don’t work, send me an email and maybe I can help you out. My email address is my first name and this site name. It’s also the way you can paypal 20 bucks to me if the steps below help you out.

I used Transmit & TextMate to fix everything, but you can use whatever FTP & text editor you like, obviously. In your FTP program, navigate to each directory, select all the files that can be edited with a text editor (that means no images…duh) and then “Open With…” and select whatever text editor you’re using.

New WordPress Themes
There were new wordpress themes created. That was two days ago and I’ve forgotten what they were called. Sorry. They started with the letter “V”. Shoulda written it down. Get rid of those themes. You weren’t using ‘em anyway and they actually contain a backdoor script (heh) to do all sorts of crappy stuff to all sorts of innocent peeps.

Weird Files & Weird File Names
Check for a bunch of files created on the same date. Look at those. Some will be named ‘ted_hammer.php’ or ‘flixxypo.php’. They are files that have their names generated by a bot using some sort of dictionary concatenating the words to create a file name (ted_hammer.php) or just creating a filename with some other sort of rule (flixxypo.php). They probably have a bunch of gobbledygook (that’s a technical term for ‘whatchamadingies’). Remove those files.

Redirect Code In Every File
Then, go through each and every file you have and check the last line for the url your site is being redirected to. (http://sweepstakesandcontestsinfo.com/nl-in.php?nnn=555) remove that line and any surrounding code and you’ll be fine. Go through all of your themes, when doing this step, ass well.

Redirect Rule In .htaccess
To see your .htaccess in Transmit, select: View/Show Invisible Files. It’s in the main directory of your site. You will probably see this bit:

RewriteRule .* http://sweepstakesandcontestsinfo.com/nl-in.php?nnn=555 [R,L]

Get rid of it.

Then, change your password.

You have your site back… Until they do it again.

Dirtbags.

The cool thing about bands wot are popular (I’m talking to you, The Thornbirds!!!) is that fans (adam sergeant, in this case) will come up with “Fan Art”.

No, not art made out of indoor cooling devices, but art inspired by one’s creative endeavor.

And with that…

I give you:

Supersonic Sex Machine

P.S. I would also like to thank the cuntz who have completely fucked up all of my web sites. I hate you and hope you die of poop poisoning.

A redundant post, but it’s my blog. Why are you reading it, anyway.

I’m not a jon stewart fan. Apparently, I would be, but I’m not. To me, and based on a total of 20 minutes of viewing time, he’s a big, cynical, smirk and I don’t get it. The jack black of politics.

I know, I know, I’m wrong.

But…

This piece is beautiful.

As a new parent, I’ve heard many horror stories about how kids die. Specifically, these two:
1) Drowing in the toilet and
B) Smothered by a sleeping parent.

I’ve done extensive google-ing and the only toilet drownings are parents murdering their kids by drowning them in the toilet. I’ve located one article about a parent smothering their child (this is really tough to write… sheesh). But not one article about accidental toilet drowning or parental smothering.

One woman who way into Facebook neglected a kid in the bathtub, but I don’t find a child drowning in the bathtub to be much of an extraordinary claim.

There are plenty of articles about kids being killed by the family dog or falling down stairs, but that’s it.

If you search you will find many articles with people saying that these things happen but with not one source attribution.

Regarding the smothering, a friend online said “it happens every day” and someone closely associated with the baby cult we’re in said something similar regarding toilet drownings. “It happens all the time. It’s horrible.”

I think it’s a myth. As parents, we have plenty of horrible crap to worry about. I’d like to reduce the millions of things to worry about by two. It’s the “Big Toilet Seat Lock” industry perpetrating their evil corporatism upon us!!! Either that or just well-meaning people wanting to protect children.

Two days ago, I updated my Front End Dev resume on Monster.com. I opted to leave it “searchable by employers” but what that means is “have 20 recruiters call me regarding jobs that I’m not qualified for”.
Not only am I getting calls about .net gigs and email about managing a C# team in Torrance, but I think I’m being stalked by one guy who actually sent me a poem via text-message.
And I (block)quote:

Dean, don’t be mean
i gotta crazy job for u
crazier than charlie sheen.

This is the jam
with a bit of penut butter
smashed with ham

Dean let me tell u about all the goodness i got in between!

True story. Really. It’s on my phone. I’ll show you sometime.

Each and every one of them leads with a variation of this line: “Hey, buddy, a colleague of mine just handed me your resume and I’d like to discuss a position that I think you’re a great fit for. Gimme a call back at Desperate Recruitment Solutions…” The ones who email me send a robot-killer: “A colleague of mine just handed me your resume and I’d like to discuss a position that I think you’re a great fit for, please send me your resume.”

They probably mean “updated resume” but still.

Here’s the problem with all of this. Up until a year ago, I’d been out of work for just about two years. That includes any showbiz stuff. I was scouring the boards… there was nothing for front-end guys. Now I have a very nice gig, but we are just now tying up the loose ends created by that nightmare. What I learned about these tech recruiters is that they do not have jobs that you are a perfect fit for. They are at the worst lying and and at the least just playing a numbers game – compile enough resumes and ‘heads’ and eventually, one will hit and their company will make the arm and leg they charge companies for their “service”. One place I worked was paying the recruiter $60/hr for my $30/hr job. And I never met the recruiter. They just sent my resume over.

I say “just” as if that’s nothing. I understand that one must cull through a billion submissions, but… just sayin’. It’s good money if you can get it.

The poet who is stalking me said he has a front end gig for me that pays 110k. There are no front end dev positions paying 110k. Not U.S. dollars, anyway. Yet.

As soon as a company passes on your resume, they are impossible to get on the phone. I actually made it in to the office of one recruiter and it was like the call center in Slumdog Millionaire. A big dry-erase board with goals and “this weeks winners”. (by the way, if you are a ruby or .net developer, you win at life). A bell was rung when someone filled a position. Horrible.

The experience that really soured me on them was the guy who was buddy, buddy, buddy with me – “they want someone with a sense of humor, buddy” and, after my phone cut out on his boss once, I wrote an email, apologizing to her, ending the email saying that I’d purchased my phone plan from a guy in Nigeria who also promised me 30 million dollars. Cute, right? “I’m sorry that our call ended so abruptly. Service in Los Angeles is maddening. I hope we can talk again soon. I don’t understand why service is so bad, etc. …” Starts off nicely and culpable and then adds a quick little “joke”. No poem… nothin. Right?

My buddy wrote back saying that his boss didn’t think I seemed professional. True story.

I guess I’m just sour on the flesh-peddler idea in general. Except for three people and you know who you are.

Now, if you actually DO have a front-end-dev gig in Burbank that pays over 100k/yr, please shoot me an email at my first name at this domain. Better still – a recurring t.v. gig that leads to a regular gig 2nd season leading to directing 2 episodes 3rd season. Howbout that, buddy?!

Why do we insist on treating each other like shit?

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/ethantudorw/2011/02/05/the-neverhood-show-episode-32-dean-cameron

Here’s the Skeptoid post.

Also, never buy a house.

See how happy I am to be getting paid to spout principles I actually believe. Also, moving my head around like Clooney on Ecstasy.

Oh, Enron… why were you such awful bastards?

Funny audition story about this gig, too. Was supposed to wear a suit. It was summer. Over 90f. I wore shorts and a t-shirt. When the CD said “tell me about yourself” I said “oh, man *that* question… Fuck, I don’t know… I’m an unemployed actor trying to get a gig on a commercial… what else?”

I think it was almost three months later when I got the call.

The technique never worked again. I tried.

“Dean, can you tell me about the audition today? What happened in there?”