As I stopped at 7-11, a clip of Nancy Pelosi saying that her “favorite word” is “The Word.”

They laughed *at* her and started getting goofy.

Coincidentally, there was a woman in line ahead of me at 7-11 aksing if everything was kosher. Literally.

When I finally got out with my coffee… Things on the show had devolved (get it?) to someone playing the clip of Nancy Pelosi and someone else acting like they were being tortured by it and vomiting. I think it was Beck, but I couldn’t be sure. I guess that’s mean. But they seemed to be making fun of themselves. But I guess you could say they were being really mean to Nancy Pelosi by acting like listening to her talk made them vomit.

Saying that the most important word is “The Word” seems really, really, really religious, right? And she’s the big democrap, right? If she’s serious, it’s wacky religious at it’s worst and if she’s trying to scare up support, it’s cynical pandering that shows a deep lack of respect for religion, right?

A friend of mine said that the thought of Sarah Palin makes her physically ill. I guess it’s the same thing, right?

So those two wrongs equal what? Two wrongs… right!

Apparently, if you don’t HATE GLENN BECK BECAUSE HE IS THE DEBIL!!!! it means you are some kind of right-wing-evil-type-person.

A guy at work sneers at me because I mentioned that I actually LISTENED TO AN AUDIO BOOK BY THE EVIL GLENN BECK!!! And, since I didn’t listen to it to confirm to myself that GLENN BECK IS THE DEBIL AND EATS CHILDREN!!!! it means that I want to LOVE GLENN BECK AND THE JUNK BENEATH HIS FUNNY UNDERWEARSS!!!!

Butt seriassly. I don’t care about glenn beck at all. I think that he has become shorthand for “right wing wacko reactionary nutjob” and was, until BP took over, “two minutes of hate” for many people. I wrote about him once before and I find the whole thing truly fascinating.

I don’t get it, really. A friend has sent me clips of Beck’s tv show where he cries. There are also clips of him contradicting himself and also saying outrageous things. It’s not like he promised to end the war or close gitmo and then backed off on that, but I guess he says really outrageous stuff. A guy on t.v. saying outrageous stuff?!? No way!!!

But, because I don’t really care enough to watch his show, I um… don’t watch his show. The guy loves the jebus and I don’t care for that so much, so if I’m going to watch the child killing network (fox) I’m going to watch the John Stossel show, because he’s not a republicrat… he’s a Libertarian and that’s how I roll.

I listened to a Glenn Beck audio book (which I downloaded illegally by the way) because I wanted to hear the evil that everyone was talking about. I didn’t hear any evil stuff. It was written a few years ago, I think, so maybe it was pre-evil. There was a bit of religion, yep, and I have gotten used to replacing any talk of religion with a droning Gmaj chord. Mainly, it was limited government stuff with your basic republican fucking up of the concept of limited government. “Keep government out of our lives… except for gay people and immigrants!!!” which is not limited government. It’s the republican line.

I don’t have enough time to watch the glenn beck t.v. show. But, I do have XM radio and I do have my 10-15 minute drive to the subway each morning on my way to work so… this week, I’m devoting 10 minutes in the morning to listening to the grandmother-eating-nazi you know as Glenn Beck and I’m going to write up a brief summary each day of what he talked about and how evil it was.

There is a point on the way where I stop at 7-11 to get the greatest coffee ever made.

Monday, June 21
I tuned in to the middle of an interview with a senate candidate from Utah… I think. Beck didn’t seem to agree with him about a prescription drug bill that had been passed. I think the candidate was a republican. The candidate said that the system was broken and small steps need to be implemented. Beck’s position was that the small steps were just making it worse. As I was heading in to 7-ll, I think I missed some talk about religion but it was over by the time I got back in to my car. As was the interview.

After the interview, Beck said that he didn’t want to have any more candidates on his show because he felt like some of his listeners might consider his opinion an endorsement and he didn’t want that to happen as the interviews were short and that was usually the only information he had about the candidate.

Then, he and his co-hosts talked about the enumerated powers of the united states constitution.

Then, I was confronted with about 20 bazillion people heading downtown for a parade. That seemed worse than anything glenn beck said on his show WHILE I WAS LISTENING.

Maybe tomorrow, he’ll say something racist and horrible. Today, it was a lot of enumerated powers. I guess, if you hate him, you could say that he was being arrogant about how much power he had over his listeners, but it seemed to me that he was aware of that and was trying to not come off as someone who has a lot of power over his listeners, which I’m sure he does.

Good thing that i had stuff saying ‘NIGERIAN SPAM SCAM’ on it, eh?!?

But… i had the entire back row to myself…

Until a woman who took a handful or two too many xanax and jack daniels’sses collapsed and hit her head on the armrest, knocking her doped up self out.

They had her lie down in the aisle for 2 hours. i couldn’t really go back to sleep because that’s what an asshole would do (shut up!) so i feigned interest until…

“Do you mind if this woman sits here?”

“Um… no… of course not…”

So i didn’t really sleep.

There’s snow here.

It seems that my cabbie, a recent graduate of the cliche nyc cabbie school, had been told that ice and snow improve traction and braking times but was confused as to why it didn’t seem to work like that. Instead of vomiting, I got out at 6th and waverly and walked a fair distance instead of the location i can’t mention because i’m staying at a paranoid famous person’s place!!!

Ah well.

I’m thinking that having a child later in life as I’ve done is a good thing because I can’t stop thinking about how cool it will be to see him experience new things… snow, for example. It’s going to be difficult to be the “seen-it-all” guy with a little guy so full of joy and wonder at all of those beautiful things.

There’s that, too.

Besides the last 5 or so hours, I have a delightful life. My wife is beautiful, sexy, funny, smart and makes cookies… and I have a son who only wants to laugh and be happy.

But really. Fuck the TSA. Right in the fucking neck.

I have an atom’s worth of understanding what it must be like to “drive while black”. An RCH of understanding. To be regarded as guilty before proven innocent is a horrible thing and that is how the TSA is destroying this country.

What you’re looking at is $740 in ones and change. Later this week, I’m going to put it in the bank and then maybe buy one of these just because I can.

Or, do something responsible with it. Whatever.

How did I end up with $740 in ones and change at the end of the year? Here’s how.

Never spend a one dollar bill. Ever. It forces you to save.

If you’re at 7/11 buying the best coffee in the world every morning like I do, you pay with a five. Then you put those 1 dollar bills aside. You can’t spend them the rest of the day. That way, if you want to buy something stupid, like gum or condoms (I jest), you must pay with a bill larger than a 1. It makes you think about the stupid little purchases you make every day.

Any 1 dollar bill gets put aside and at the end of the day, they all go in to a box. Along with the change you acquired that day.

I take the subway to work every day and it’s $1.25 each way, so I use quarters for that, but I still ended up with some quarters in my change box. The change came out to just over $100. If you can do remedial math, you can figure out how many one dollar bills I had.

I don’t actually have 640 one dollar bills. There were days where, for whatever reason, I did spend 1 dollar bills. Those days, I put a five in the box along with any ones I had.

That’s that. That’s my savings tip. Now, I’m going to end up on the “I Can Teach You To Be Rich” blog and be one of those assholes who talk about “the latte factor”.

The only thing I would do differently is use the sharpie to cross out “In god we trust” the day I put the bills in the box. I got bored. This also makes me realize, I have about 600 “Where’s George” bills to distribute.

Hmmm. I need more time.

Speaking of holiday cheer: Fuck the IRS. I mean, really. Fuck you guys.

Oh, speaking of fuck you guys: Here’s to CESD, my voice over and loser commercial agency who dropped me the week after Duncan was born. Fuck you guys. Way to destroy a career. Well played.

Happy Holidays everyone!!!

Downsize DC is embarking on yet another grassroots campaign (it’s what they do) to roll back the wildly unconstitutional USA PATRIOT ACT. (I exaggerate to clarify)

The good news is that some parts of the PATRIOT Act could expire at the end of the year. This provides an opportunity to roll back many of these dangerous provisions. Toward this end Senator Russ Feingold introduced the JUSTICE Act (S. 1686) on September 17, Constitution Day. JUSTICE stands for the Judicious Use of Surveillance Tools In Counterterrorism Efforts.

Won’t you visit them?

The Palin episode of Skeptoid points out how those of us who pride ourselves for being critical thinkers have to remember to refrain from ad hominem attacks, especially against those who have different beliefs than ours. It’s great stuff.

My other favorite, which I may have mentioned here, is the Skeptics Guide to the Universe. Steven Novella and his brothers, Jay, Bob along with Even Bernstein and one of several “skepchicks”, Rebecca, are the skeptic superfriends. Each week, they sit around and wax poetic about things skeptical. I was interviewed by them last week at TAM7, which is a true honor. Steven Novella has got to be the busiest man in the world. He blogs daily at Science Based Medicine as well as his own, Neurologica blog. Plus, he’s a neurosurgeon and does legwork for the Skeptics Guide podcast. The man is smart. Crazy smart.

I also listen to three tech podcasts: the Zend php framework, Ruby on Rails & JQuery. It sounds a lot like English. I’m pretty sure it’s English.

There’s also a guy who decided to read all of the Robert Ingersoll writings. Great. Nutty.

I put the new ones in the “Sleep” playlist and listen to that as I fall asleep. By the end of the week, from waking up in the middle of the night, etc., I’m pretty sure I’ve heard everything.

Fascinating, isn’t it?

I’m going to write about TAM7 real soon. No, really.

Take a look:

I Am Not Afraid

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/baskas/2009-05-13-penn-teller-tsa_N.htm

Reading the comments on the page, it’s always sad to see how readily people will just give over to authority. It’s not about being made to wait in line, it’s checking to see what one would give up to feel safe. We all know that it’s for show. We know the searches at the airport are useless. They’re simply so some people feel safe and because “they” had to “do something”.

In other news, I’ve been doing web contract work at Disney Consumer Products. It’s been pretty great (and I would still say so even if it wasn’t great, so you really can’t tell, can you…) but it looks like it’s going to be ending next week.

In other noose, some big shot says they’re going to pay me to write The Nigerian Spam Scam Scam movie. Bring it. I’ll certainly have time. Well, until late July.

Man, the bride looks like she’s trying to shoplift a watermelon, unsuccessfully trying to hide it under her shirt. Lengthwise. Duncan seems to favor her right side.

He’ll be a right-winger as a kid and then grow up and be a fucking loser hippie. He hates me already.

I can take some credit for spreading it around recently and I was very happy when my friend, Colin, called me with the understanding that this Swine Flu nonsense is simply Two Minutes of Hate.

Speaking of Two Minutes of Hate: Someone on FaceSpaceBook commented that the swine flu fear is just a ploy by those “evil pharmaceutical companies” to sell more drugs. I suggested he do us all a favor and stop taking medicine. Here’s hoping I’m unfriended or whatever it is that people like that do.

Speaking of death, I wonder if that god that danny gans believed in could figure out who he was doing impressions of.

Started a temp gig yesterday at a big entertainment company. Y’know… It’s those content management systems that keep us all employed. If it weren’t for the CMS, I’d have finished the gig today. As it is, I’m probably there another three weeks. Maybe more.

I wish that I had read this when I was making good money.

Hot damn. This is good stuff.

Were I king of the world, I would pay a theater company full of libertarians (hahahahahahaha) a million dollars to spend a year workshopping the book into a stage production. It would be as long or longer than Nicholas Nickleby.

Or… a summer mini-series on HBO or Showtime. It would change the world.

Or people would laugh at it because it is so beautifully moral and idealistic.

When I read her stuff I feel like such an asshole. Her faith in the potential of humans. The way she demands one to be the best version of themselves.

Man.

When I listen to this book and read these passages again, my brain is infected by the assholes who sneer at her. I might have been one of them a long time ago.

You go, Ayn Rand. You go and you rock it.

Apparently, Atlas Shrugged is selling like gangbusters now. People are snatching it up. We are hungry for this purity. The cynicism of what’s going on in government is heartbreaking.

It seems like watching the end of the Titanic rise out of the sea right before it disappears forever.