loan orificer
went with darren (stix zadinia’s brother, “jam” because stix was getting a court appointed vasectomy) to the all access magazine awards thing to get the video of the year award which means that i am an award winning director…
um…
wow.
it’s nice to be noticed. even by people with bad taste.
we got the plaques and went and ate.
wow.
just finished faxing 22 pages of financial documents to the loan lady. instead of nanowrimoing this weekend, i learnt myself alll about loans. it’s so depressing.
there is a house a block and a half away from us… from the house we’re renting. very similar to ours, with some cosmetic changes (pretentious green paintjob. some more landscaping. wood stuff here and there). 2br 1 bath. cottage style. big lot. nothing really special. walked up to the open house and they had one of those info sheets. pulled it out: $799,000. wadded it up and threw it at the house and walked away muttering to myself like the angry, bitter, crazy person i am.
i’m so excited to get this loan, buy an overpriced piece of shit and then have the bottom drop out of the real estate market. then i’ll murder everyone. you think i’m joking? i’m not.
who is buying two bedroom homes in burbank for 800k? i’m sure they got an offer on it. it was a cute house but fuck you in the neck you motherfuckers. i mean, really. right in the fucking neck.
v.o. at cesd, then dropping photos off for marsha, then having lunch with fratkin tomorrow. haven’t seen him in a few years. very excited.
800k. for an actual piece of poop. who knew!? i hope they get tumors. dickheads.
8802
i’m at 8802 words. it is a rambling piece of crap. it’s snide and shallow and totally without reason.
good thing i’m not judging it, right?!
I actually am having fun writing it, though it takes two hours to write that much. i wrote a lot tonight because i got an idea.
it’s easier to write when there’s an idea. “I think i’ll write about x” makes all the difference. advice: if you have the choice between “how many words left” and “ooh… i can write about that time alan rucker made me order $400 worth of room service in new york”, pick the second one. unless, of course, alan rucker didn’t make you order $400 of room service in new york.
did the two toshiba spots today. a :30 and a :60. enjoyable time with enjoyable folks. i thought i was going to be one of the two guys in the “sketch” part of it, but they realized that i am a genius and should be the announcer for the product.
there’s something about standing alone in the booth with the producer in another city asking if i’m comfy that brings out the old warhorse has-been v.o. alcoholic guy jokes.
“I’m doin’ great, bill, i just need some ice for my Scotch and I’ll be right with you. these kids at this studio don’t understand that i need some gol danged ice.”
as i do maybe one too many of these really, genius, perfect, witty amazing bits of improvisation, i wonder if the producer is wondering if i really am a drunk so i stop too abruptly. just the way an old warhorse has-been v.o. alcoholic guy would when he realizes that he’s gone too far.
“christ, let’s get this show on the road, because happy hour begins at 4pm, kid, you know of what i’m SAYING, bill?! if i get another dui, my agent’s gonna crap hisself. he hates driving me to gigs.”
“Lemme do another one… i spilled my drink on the script, bill.”
Seeing Equus with hot asian teens and george takei tomorrow. i’m only going for the naked asian chick.
i’m so boring.
also…
at a commercial audition yesterday, i read with rosalie mayieux who played my mom in ‘outer space’. also there was david naughton who i’d worked with on my sister sam. small world.
it’s so weird, when talking about the business, everyone shakes their head like showbiz was a guy they knew in high school who seemed like such a great guy but turned out to be a child rapist.
we all seem absolutely astonished that we work and that we used to work a lot. it’s like we come from another planet… ‘yes, my sonny jim, on earth, there was as much acting work as the day is long… roles just sitting there on trees; ripe for the pickin’, laddy…. a man could work 8 or 9 weeks a year and ride around town in a wheelbarrow full of cash… tossing phone calls out to agents and managers who were all lined up on those golden streets, ready to hand you a contract and an assfull of smoke… yes, my chippy, thems were the days, alrighty!”
my “novel” is exactly where it should be after three days: sucking like a gay leech at a glory hole. what was i thinking? ah well. might ass well finish it!
opportunities for rejection or success
I’m signing with Hervey/Grimes. They’re going to send me out on t.v and movie stuff. I mean, that’s the idea. we’ll see if it happens. It really should. After watching this tv and seeing what’s happening in movies, there seems to be no reason, besides the obvious ones, why I wouldn’t be able to score a gig here and there.
As I pointed out to Marsha, the nice thing about this v.o. career is that I’m not dependent on working in t.v. or movies anymore, so I don’t have to feel like a loser when I go in. Plus, it gets rid of the desperation and fear and allows one to settle down and try to do some actual work (aka turd polishing) when reading.
What a good attitude I have…
Speaking of good attitude: I am now officially an award winning director. “Fat Girl” won best All Access Magazine’s Video of the year award.
I wonder if this is supposed to be a secret. Hmmm. Well. To you two people reading this, don’t tell anyone until Sunday, maybe.
So, Darren and I are going to Paladino’s Saturday night. Like all awards, they are stupid and ridiculous until you win one. Then they are very important.
I am happy about having an agent.
Got the forms from the sag/aftra credit person about home loans. I’m not looking forward to the depression and rage of looking at piece of shit condos and “cozy fixers” that cost half a million fucking ridiculous dollars, but i guess that’s what one must do.
I’m about 500 words away from today’s writing goal so I must now go and do that.
Doing a Toshiba V.O. tomorrow. Here’s hoping that ends the dry spell. It’s been over a month since I’ve done a v.o. Thank that great imaginary flaming sheep’s head in the sky for Geico. Yeehaaa!
blech day
it’s a fairly uneventful day. more organizing. i wrote 1800 words from nanowrimo.
i sure hope i keep enjoying it and looking forward to this.
man, i bet real novelists hate this sort of thing. though, maybe they don’t because doing this, you realize how difficult it is to write something good.
i always feel that way, but maybe others don’t.
“Oh, writing a novel… i could do that…”
no, because you have to write. that’s the great writer’s quote; the secret to writing is writing.
must book thornbirds’ gig. must…
billy the mime
i’m producing billy the mime at sacred fools. being a producer is really just making sure the theater is clean and that people show up. neither ever happen so i run around and clean the theater and fill in for people who don’t show up. there are always fires to put out and i do that while making sure that billy has no idea that everything’s about to fall apart.
tonight was weird. billy’s sister in law brought a little dog in a carrier. none of us knew that she had a dog with her until the dog began barking during the show. it freaked everyone out. everyone.
there was also a guy talking on his phone during the first routine.
best of all, i left the flashlight i use to activate the glow tape on stage.
after all this stuff was taken care of (dog left, guy ended his conversation, billy moved the flashlight off the stage) it was a really nice show. i realized that he could call the show “a history of love & hate” as that’s exactly what it is. people doing amazing things through the years. wars, love, rape, abortion. really amazing.
there is something so oddly moving about the 9/11 routine. i am almost able to put it in to words. i need to think about it some more. it operates on some pretty fantastic levels.
billy rules.
i did the first day of nanowrimo. i blazed through 1700+ words in about an hour and a half. fairly painless. i learned from writer’s boot camp how to blaze through shit when you get in your head and that’s very valuable. i sure hope i stick with it. so far so good. it will be neat to have 175 pages or so of nuttiness. it’s a thing i began about 5 years ago and never finished… obviously.. i never really began the thing, either, other than come up with the title and a kinda/sorta plot.
finally have an avail for a v.o. gig. it’s been too long. when i heard the phone ring in the other room i said to the dog “big daddy, please let it be a voice over gig…”
big daddy made it so!
listening to david sedaris’ me talk pretty one day. i like it. there’s a bit of that annoying new york smug thing going on… well… not a bit of it. a whole boat load of it… but it’s still nice to listen to. i like the french translations.
also may have a web client. talked to him on the phone for a bit… outlining how i work, etc. and now i need to send him some stuff so i will sign off.
billy rules.
john perry fund
http://stopthedrugwar.org/chronicle/409/perryfundla.shtml
I’m the “celebrity host” for the evening. It’s a great thing they do. Just great.
Plus: free heroin!
nanowrimo
not sure what i was thinking but i signed up for national novel writing month.
i had an idea for a novel a few years back. guess i’ll write it this month.
cool